Dying Young for Breast Implants

So not worth it -->


Gawker tells the sad story of an 18-year-old Florida cheerleader who died on Saturday as a result of complications from her breast implants.

That blog focuses on the sick sense of satisfaction the unpopular kids can get out of this event, but to me, it's all incredibly tragic. This girl had everything: she was a beautiful, talented gymnast, a straight-A student, who was headed for the pre-med track at the University of Florida. Struck down in the prime of her life for bigger boobs.

One interesting wrinkle: Her parents bought her these implants as a gift. I should find this shocking, but sadly, I don't, since I've heard about parents doing this before. Apparently, it's a cute little trend. (Please reference the oddly yet aptly named Lulu, a breast implant beneficiary who sounds like a Rhodes scholar when she states, "...when I graduated, my parents were like, all right, congratulations, you got a boob job.")

I don't want to pontificate, but this really is a symptom of our sick society. I'm only 30, but when I was 18 (a mere 12 years ago), I was pleased that my parents gifted their beat-up old station wagon to me! (Don't even try to imagine what that did for my street cred.) Sure, I was concerned about my bod, but do you think it ever occurred to me that my dear old dad would sponsor surgery that would insert pouches into my chestal area for the purpose of a larger rack? All of which would result in the attraction of boys who wanted only one thing?? He would have chained me to the radiator first!

I'm sure parents have their reasons. Apparently, some of them feel breast enlargement surgery gives their daughters more confidence in a society where they are judged by their beauty. That may be, but whose standard of beauty is it? Why can't they encourage confidence in the form of scholastic achievements, athletic success, etc.?? Hopefully this sad story will serve as a wake-up call to people who think this kind of behavior is normal.

As for me, I've never loved my own B-minus bra size so much in my life.

Pissed Over the Hyst

--->Think carefully before pushing the 'go' button

Hysterectomies, or sayin' sayonara to your uterus, are increasingly popular. Approximately 600,000 are performed every year, and to put that number into context, one-third of all women will have a hysterectomy before they turn 60. Hysterectomies are fun because they help women in so many cases:

1. If you want to make whoopee without worrying about getting all preggers;

2. If you're riding the crimson wave (getting your period, hello) more frequently or heavily than you like;

3. If you're often bloated like an elephant that just snarfed down 10 Carvel cakes; and

4. On a more serious life/death note, if you're suffering from conditions such as endometriosis or cancer.

HOWEVA, as CNN so graciously explains, some experts are now saying that two thirds of these hysterectomies are unneccessary. That's right, this invasive surgery has often been done for no clinical reason and/or little or no realized benefit. Some research even suggests that hysterectomies may lead to sexual problems, incontinence, and a slight loss of physical strength.

Doesn't sound very good.

A word of caution before the panic: Even according to the most alarmist of experts, hysterectomies are necessary in at least one third of cases, and can be a lifesaver (not the candy). Still, consider these words from Ms. Zimmerman, who underwent the procedure, gained 10 pounds and had her sex drive go on permanent hiatus. She suggests that women consider more conservative treatments:

"If you've just got a uterus problem," she says,

"do not allow them to take your ovaries."

(I have to say I like the final sentence. "Don't let them take your ovaries!" sounds like a rallying cry that would be applicable in so many cases:

-Boss acting up? Don't let him take your ovaries!

-Cashier all bitchy at the supermarket? Don't let her take your ovaries!

-Your date wants to go dutch? Don't let him take your ovaries, and by all means, make the loser pick up the check!!)